If you’re looking for a game of darts and don’t mind visiting a place where a suicide bomber might be sitting at the bar, I have a recommendation. The place is called Café Noga. Called “an old Irish pub and restaurant,” it is located in the heart of Israel’s second most populous city, Tel Aviv.
Café Noga, which has been operating for thirty years, is the oldest billiards club in the Jewish state, and there is nothing wrong with that. People who don’t have the skills to compete in real sports need somewhere to go and fart.
The good news is that the venue also has three adjustable dart boards, all perfectly positioned in a well-kept and well-lit area next to the bar, across from a green felt sea of twenty pool tables. Just to the left of the real boards is a soft tip machine. This is also for farting.
It was noon when I arrived in Tel Aviv. My cell phone rang…
“HEY DARTOID! Sorry to bother you, but at this point, do you usually fill your column with a few paragraphs of plagiarized nonsense from Wikipedia about the city you’re visiting?”
“Who’s that?”
“Morrie!”
“Morri?”
“Come on, man. You remember. 1975. Semester break.”
“HOLY HOLY! Morrie Markowitz! It’s been fifty years! What happened to these girls? Got a new joke?
“Holy shit. It is Passover and the rabbi is eating lunch on a park bench. A blind man sits down next to him, so the rabbi offers him a piece of lunch – a piece of matzo.
The blind man takes it, rubs his fingers together for a while and asks, “Who wrote this shit?”
“Oh, you’re still sucking Markowitz. Nice to hear from you, but I really have to go. I’m getting ready to write some serious crap about darts here.
So I checked into the hotel, took a shower, put on a bulletproof vest, found Noga at 4 Pinkster Street, and ordered a He’brew Rejewvenator for 25 shekels.
Seriously though, I’ve been to freaking Israel – how could I resist a beer called Rejewvenator?
From the field – STOP WITH ISRAEL!
Dartoid
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“Dartoid” is the nickname of Paul Seigel, a distinguished darts chronicler for over 35 years. To read the full version of this column, over 600 other people go to dartoidsworld.net/
